We all know that laws in India are farce, and meant to be there for the sake of it, not to be followed. Compliance is a bare naught and you just need money to buy your immunity from law.
The great visionary lawmakers managed to create the farce placeholder rules for just every damn thing. Say for instance, the majority of the text messages you receive on your phone (unless you are hotly in love), or the majority of the calls you receive on your phone are technically illegal allowance. All these ask for money - in some way or the other.
One fine morning ...
"Hello Sir, this is Imran from Jumpstart Consultants"
"And?"
"Sir do you recall we met about six months back at Spice mall, where I discussed with you a really great ULIP?"
Oh ya I do recall that trauma. But I recall I'd prayed you not to try contacting me again. I said: "But last time you failed to sell it. Why again?"
Laughs. "Sir, we at Jumpstart would like to maintain a good relationship with our former clients. And have come up with an unique plan to ..."
... loot me ...
"... manage all our clients' assets. Sir we already have all details about your previous policy, and would provide you free consultancy on this, like when to exit, which one to buy, which riders to pick ..."
... and how to swindle all my money ...
"... what are the risks involved - all these from our experts"
"But why are you doing this?"
"Because we would like to maintain a great relationship with our clients"
"Look dude! I am not taking it what you do it as a past time, like social service, and moreover, I am yet to be your client - I dont recall you ever selling anything to me"
"Your ULIP was procured through us. I told you sir!"
The backend processing unit of the Insurance company or the agent must have sold out my policy number. Last time I met this guy he showed me an absurd set of terms where you get an absurd cover for everything upto a terrorist strike on an aeroplane. Everything was still fine, till the guy wanted to provide a proof for this unbelievable statement the next day. He forwarded a mail containing a loose discussion of these terms among the senior staff of his organization. And I asked him not to call again. This time too I will say:"Could you please not call me again?"
"Sir, give us an opportunity to serve you"
I hang up.
One of my biggest mistakes ever was to do some research about personal loans. And even after three years, I get a call on a fresh Monday morning, like this:
"Sir, do you need a personal loan?"
"No, by the way ... who asked you to call ... (she hangs up) ... me?
Battered so many times, at last, I decided to hit back.
Another day:
"Sir, our bank is giving you a personal loan?"
"Kitna kilo chahiye?"
"What? Sir?"
"... Mutton abhi mil jayega. Pork aur beef thoda delay hoga. Abhi kaata hai. Fleecing chal raha hai."
"What the ...?" (hangs up)
Wrong numbers also carry a similar junk payload - I am usually gentle to these guys - with one exception, a call which followed a pushy crank call:
"Hello? Mohit?"
I swore silently and answered: "Yes?"
"... abhi tak samaan nahi pahucha yaar"
"Aare mere ko bachao !!"
"kya!? Kahaan how tum?"
With a trembling voice I said: "main Islamabad mein!"
"... kya ... ?? kayse ?"
"Mujhe Taliban ne utha liya ... "
Somehow the guy did not even think this can be prank:
"Kya bol rahe ho?"
"1 karor maang rahe hain"
"Rupaye!!?? Ransom?"
"aare nahin! rupaye nahin!"
"fir?"
"Rasgulle!"
"kya bol rahe ho?"
"Tumhari baap ki shaadi hai na?"
"what are you saying Mohit?"
The guy was a tough nut - I continued:
".. actually your father flew in like the Superman to save me"
(guy hangs up...)
There were extensively publicized reports when the Do not Call (DNC) list implementation was announced by the Telecom Department. But I never came across any improvement to this menace. Try http://www.donotdisturb.in/ to register with various organizations.
Tweet
